Friday, March 9, 2012
A Little More Ultra Humor - T Shirt Etiquette
In the ultra running community the wearing of race T-Shirts has become a sign of accomplishment and fashion. Choosing just the right T-Shirt for that special occasion can be a daunting and difficult task. The following guidelines have been compiled to help the responsible T-shirt wearer avoid potential embarrassment and/or elevate their status.
1. A shirt cannot be worn unless the wearer has participated in and finished the event. (crew, significant others and volunteers are exempt)
2. Never wear a race shirt form any race shorter than the one you are participating in.(Exclusions: Pikes Peak Ascent and Imogene Pass Run at road Marathons)
3. T-shirts for any race, less than a marathon distance, shouldn't be worn to an ultra event. It simply doesn't represent a high cool factor and sends a red flag regarding your rookiness. If you set a PR at Pikes Peak Marathon, definitely wear that shirt whenever possible.
4. When returning to a race in which you previously finished, then wear the shirt from the first year you completed the race. Don't short change yourself by wearing the shirt from the year before. It doesn't adequately display the feat of accomplishment or the consummate veteran status that you are due.
5. Never wear a race shirt from the race you are about to run. It displays a lack of running integrity and real runners will think this is your first race.
6. Wearing a T-shirt of the race, while currently running said race, is discouraged. It's like being at work and constantly announcing "I'm at work". Besides, you wont have the correct post race shirt then.
7. Never wear a shirt from a run that you did not finish. To wear it is to say "I finished it".
8. A DNF'er may wear a race shirt if... the letters DNF are boldly written on the shirt in question.
9. During a race the wearing of shirt from a previously completed year is acceptable. Wear the oldest T-shirt you have (see guideline #3). This is probably a good practice because you now have no excuse to drop out since you've done it before.
10. Runners should buy all crew members and, as appropriate, significant others (they let you run the race in the first place) T-shirts which can be worn without regard to running the race. (see guide #1)
11. Volunteers have full T-shirt rights and all privileges pertaining thereto.
12. No souvenir shirts! Friends or anyone else not associated with the race may not wear a race shirt. If mom thinks that the Leadville shirt is lovely, tell he to send in her application early for next year so she can earn her own.
13. Wear the race shirt of your last race at the current race pre race briefing. The more recent the race the better. This is a good conversation starter. However avoid the tendency to explain how that it was a training run for this, and this is just a training run for the next, etc. It just sounds like your rationalizing mediocre performances. Sometimes it's best to live in the here and now. ("I've never been more prepared for a race! this is the big one!)
14. It must be clean (dried blood stains are okay)
15. If you've finished Hardrock 100 then wear it as often as possible, since the race is so damn hard. (You are exempt from guideline #15)
16. Never wear a T-shirt that vastly out classes the event you're running (exception: see guideline #14) Example: Never wear a Western States 100 T-shirt at, say, Cool Canyon. Too many roadies will feel put down. It's okay to wear a WS100 or Leadville or Wasatch T-shirt at ultrarunner cult events such as Gibson Ranch or Jim Skophammer 24. It's probably not okay to wear your Trans-America footrace T-Shirt to your local around-the-lake Fat Ass 50k unless you want to psyche out the competition.
17. A corollary: never wear a blatantly prestigious T-shirt downtown. People will just think you have a big head, which you do.
18. If you don't know what things like DNF, WS100 or Crew are, then you shouldn't wear any race shirt until you know what they mean. T-shirts must be used sensitively. Worn responsibly, they can help expand one's consciousness and immerse you in a great conversation with your ultra brethren. Worn stupidly, they can cause blisters, vacant stares, sprained ankles, and cause social anxiety. NOTE: Publicly these guidelines will be denied and possibly ridiculed by ultra runners, but privately and when discussed confidentially, they sing a different tune.